When I Cried
by M14Mouse
Summary: To remember something so horrible can be awful but what if...you are the only one that remembers? What do you go from there? Lita is about make her choice and it isn’t pretty.


Title: When I Cried: Part 1  
Author: M14Mouse

Summary: To remember something so horrible can be awful but what if...you are the only one that remembers? What do you go from there? Lita is about make her choice and it isn't pretty.   
Disclaimer: I don't own them. How sad. I do own Cara.  
A/N: The new improved version of When I Cried. I would like thank my past reviewers: K.C. Whitestar, Berfull Hunter, Rebecca Rose, Tempest Princesss, and Krazy xP.

---Dreams are the true interpreters of our inclinations, but art is required to sort and understand them.—

Michel de Montaigne

Part 1  
Lita was tossing and turning in her sleep. Sweat was rolling down her face. The blankets and sheets were no longer on the bed. She was having the same nightmare. The same dream that has been haunting her since she was a little girl. 

Jupiter Palace

Lita was running through the corridors of the palace. War has destroyed this palace. Nothing is going to replace it. Its people have fled to safety grounds or the walls that hold the royal family together. Sweat was rolling down her forehead. Her green dress was sticking to her thighs and body. She didn't know why she was running. She was just running. She was looking for something or someone. She just couldn't remember who it was or what it was. She could have sworn it was something important.

Every time, she turns her head. She would see dead bodies. She saw people dying and men fighting. She could smell the smoke, blood, and flesh in the air. She finally came to a stop. She saw a man holding a knife to a little girl's throat. She couldn't see her face. It was lost in the blur of the dream. She knew this one she has been searching for. "Don't harm her, please." Lita said. The soldier grins as the blade ran across the girl's throat. Lita screamed and run to the body of girl. She caught the girl's body as the blood went everywhere. Lita began to cry as she clings to the little girl.

She felt her soul shatter as she let out a scream.

---End of Nightmare----

Lita screams as she sat up from the bed. She was wet with sweat and tears. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. Why? Why did she stop him? Why could she stop him? She was strong. She could have stopped him. Yet, she wasn't fast enough or strong enough. Why is she still having these dreams? Why?

End of Part 1

When I Cried: Part 2

--Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do, but it is giving me that which you need more than I do.—

Kahil Gibran

A little girl was sitting on her single bed in a room full with other children and beds. She always tries to be very quiet. She didn't want to wake anyone up. Most of all, she didn't want the bad people to come. She didn't want to go to the bad lady. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Her name was Cara. She was seven years old. She had brown hair and hazel eyes. She was short for her age but most of all, she lived in orphanage. She had no family. She was alone. She wants the pretty lady to come back again. The pretty lady made her feel safe. But the pretty lady was dead. She began to cry again.

Lita was tired. The nightmares were getting worse. She couldn't go to bed for 30 minutes without a nightmare. She sighs as walk to school. "Hey, Lita, wait up!" said the voice from behind her. She didn't need the shouting and happy personality of her friend this mourning. Her head was starting to pound. That is just great. School and a headache. Lita turn over to look over her shoulder. "Hey, Serena." Lita said. Finally, Serena caught up with Lita. "Hey, Lita. How are you doing?" Serena said. "Fine." Lita said. She felt the wariness getting to her again. "Lita, are you alright?" Serena said. "I am fine. Just tired." Lita said. "You could go home and get some rest. I mean, I tell Miss Miller, you can't do the program." Serena said. "No. I want, too. "Lita said. A few weeks earlier, the school asks the children to volunteer their time help orphan children.

None of her friends thought she would sign up for it. She was orphan, too. It would bring back old memories but Lita was determined to do it. She didn't want a child to feel the same loneliness that plagues her. She hides much better than the others could see. Lita sigh. "I can do it, Serena." Lita said.

In some ways, she must do it.

When I Cried: Part 3

--- I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.—

Frank Herbert

Lita stood in front of a giant building with many windows and nice size yard. Despite its pretty appearance, it was one of her greatest fears. An orphanage. A place she never wants to live and much less step into but she would do this. She would get rid of her demons. She must for sake of helping something. A place she should have gone, but if has been for the money her unknown uncle send her. Her hands were shaking. "Stop it! You got to calm down." She said to herself. She took a deep breath. She walks into the building. The greeting room looks nice but she could feel her lungs squeeze tightly. She felt that she couldn't breath and her heart was running away from her. She wants to run away from this place.

Luck would have her way or perhaps, it was bad luck. The nice-looking woman looks up from her papers and call out to her before she could flee. "Hello, may I help you?" The woman said. It is now or never. She took a deep breath. "Yes, my name is Lita Kino. I am part of the Out Reach program." Lita said. "Yes, let me see." The woman said. She began to look through the papers on her desk. Finally, she pulls out a piece of paper. "Yes, come this way." The woman said. "The child, you will be working with is Cara Seine. She is eight years old. She doesn't like to hang around the children. She is very quiet, but is very bright." The woman said. Then the woman sighed. "What is wrong?" Lita asked. "Oh, nothing." The woman replied.

They walk silently the rest of the way. Finally, they made to a small back room. There was a little girl with her doll. She wore a purple dress and her hair in a ponytail. The little girl looks sad as she talks softly to her doll. Lita couldn't make out the words. "I will leave you two, now. Good luck, Lita." The woman said. The woman left. Silent full the room as the other woman left. Cara looks at Lita. The little girl's eyes become wide in shock as she looks up at Lita. Lita sense a strange sense of familiar to the girl. She couldn't figure it. It was like a puzzle she couldn't solve. She put her bag down and pulls out a tin of cookies. "My name is Lita. What is yours?" Lita said cheerfully. Cara didn't answer for a moment. "Cara." Cara said. "Would you like a treat?" Lita said. "No, thank you." The little girl said as she shakes her head. She hides her face behind her doll. 

"Not even chocolate chip cookies." Lita said with a grin. Cara looks at the tin. "Maybe just one." Cara said as she open the box and grabs a cookie. "I go to the middle school down the street. My friends love my cooking, especially Serena. What do you think of it?" Lita said. Lita smiles as she got her answer when the little girl grabs another cookie from the tin. "I go to the school by the park. Sometimes we play in the park." Cara said. Maybe that is why she looks so familiar. She did pass by the park even it was battles against evil and hang out with her friends. That didn't shake the sense of familiar to the girl. "Would you like to play a game?" Lita said.

"Can dolly play too?" Cara said. "Yes, she can." Lita said. "Let play Candy land." The girl said with glee. For the hour, Lita and Cara play Candy land and Lita teach Cara how to cook with fake tools. The little girl would laugh at the perfect plastic cake come out of the oven. The tiredness from the day and the nightmare seems to have vanished. The woman came in again. "Well, Cara, it is time for dinner." the woman said. Cara looks at Lita. "You come again?" Cara said. Lita smiles. "Yup, I am coming next week. Maybe I will teach you have to cook with real tools" Lita said. Cara jump with joy and run out of the room. "Well, she seems to like you." The woman said. "Yes, she does. Well, see you next week." Lita said. The woman grabs her arm before she left the door. "Thank you." The woman said. "Why?" Lita said in confusion. "Cara is to withdraw for her age. She seems to be so happy around you. Please, come again." The woman said. Lita smiles.

"Of course, I will."

That is a promise.

When I Cried: Part 4

---When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.—

Edmund Bruke

"How cute.....How very cute . . . " A woman's voice echo through the dark chambers. Silk tapestries hang from the windows. Outside those windows was blackness. Twist, ugliness blackness that seems fulls the chamber. A vortex seems only source of light and only way, you could see the woman's face. The woman's face was beautiful. Her eyes were violet. Her face was oval shape with long black locks running down her face. Her skin was pale and untouched by the sunlight. That is where the beauty ends. Her heart is black as the darkest grave.

How did this beautiful woman because this monster? This creature? Books cannot give an answer because it doesn't know the answer. The human mind can only guess. Could have been love? Hate? Power? Revenge? Or could be a person at the wrong place at the wrong time? A thousand guesses and not one answer. The woman's pale hand reaches out and touches the image of a small little girl and a browned hair girl playing a child's game that plays in the vortex.

"Soon . . . Very Soon."

Sailor Pluto's face was cover in sweat. Her hands cling to the sheets of the bed if they were her life line. Her eyes open as she looks at the walls of her chamber. She knew what must be done but could she do it again? Could she kill again? She shakes her head from the dream from tonight. She just hope they never meet if they did . . . Well, she will cross that bridge when comes. She gets up from the bed. She must prepare.

Soon, she will kill....Kill a child. May the heavens forgive her?

The End of Part 4

When I Cried: Part 5

--- When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy.—

Anon

((Cara's POV))

Lita is the pretty lady! I know she is pretty lady in my dreams. She is so nice to me and wants to play with me. Her friends are nice too. They came and play with me too. I and her friends went to the fair and the park. One of Lita friend, Serena eats a lot of food. She is so funny. Rei and Serena always get into fights. Lita says it is because they are good friends. None of my friends fight like them. Amy was so smart and she says funny words. I guess that is part of being smart. I hope I can be as smart as her. Rei was nice too but she has a bad temper. Mina is nice but a little strange. She talks really fast.

But...Lita is the pretty lady! I saw her face in one of my happy dreams. The happy dream is where I and Lita were in this beautiful garden. There were pretty flowers and a huge pond with ducks and swans. Lita was wearing this long green dress. She looks so pretty. Lita look like a princess. She seems so happy and smiles a lot at me. She made me feel so safe. Lita and I feed the ducks. It was such a happy dream! I love that dream! I wish all of my dreams like that.

Why I am afraid that the bad dreams are going to come back?

I don't want them to come back. There are dark and scary. I see bodies and people screams. I see things burn down and monsters. The monsters are the scariest part. The monsters eat the people...and lots of bad stuff. Most of the time, they are after me. Why me? I didn't do anything wrong....I am a good girl. I promise I clean after I play with toys. I will really good in school.

I just wish....they would go away.

One day, I told Lita that about the monsters. She got really quiet then she wraps her arms around me and gives me a big hug. I was like a baby sister to her. She told me that she didn't have a family either. So, I am her little sister. She promises to keep me from the monsters and bad men like big sisters protect the little sisters. I never had a sister before and I am so happy. Lita is the best big sister in the world.

Now, I am happy with my friends and my big sis. I hope it last forever and forever.

When I Cried: Part 6

---What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal. ---

Albert Pike

_A year later_…

Lita walks among the grave stones of the long departed. The weather was nice but it didn't fit her mood. It hasn't fit her mood in a long time. Finally, she reach the stone that she was search for.

Cara Seine

Beloved Friend

June 5, 1996- July 29, 2003

It was a small head stone for a small little girl. Lita kneel down and place a single lily on the headstone.

"I miss you, little sister. I miss the walks we had and the games we play at the park. Most of all, I miss having a sister. It has been a year since your death. It didn't need to be you. You were only a child. You had a future ahead of you. Someone decide your fate for you. Just like me. Isn't that right, Sailor Pluto?" Lita said bitterly as she looks over her shoulder to see Sailor Pluto.

"Welcome home, Lita. You still haven't forgiven me, I see." Sailor Pluto said.

"Why should I forgive you? You talk about the fate of the world and facing evil. Your wiliness to give takes the life of a little girl for a sacrifice. It makes me sick. I would not be part of it." Lita said softly.

"Lita…please." Sailor Pluto said softly.

"NO! Don't you understand! We are done! Did you get my pen? You can find my replacement. Oh…I get it. You are going to have to kill me. So, my powers can reborn in another person." Lita said as she turns around and gets into a fighting stance.

"Come on, Pluto. You killed Cara. Now, here is your chance to kill me. The bodies continue to building up around you." Lita said. Pluto lowers her staff and tears roll down her face.

Lita walks pass her as her last words hang in the air.

"You will have forever to kill me, Pluto. I will be around and I will be waiting."

End of Part 6

When I Cried: Part 7

---We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within. ---

Earl Nightingale

((Lita's POV))

I wasn't supposed to remember Cara. I wasn't supposed to remember that I had a sister. Pluto made sure of it. She made sure that the others would forget Cara like a bad dream. Cara was supposed to be a dream. She would live long enough to be the sacrifice. She was sacrifice that we would never know about.

But something did happen. She remembered me. I remembered her. It wasn't supposed to that way. I tried so hard to stop the knife but I was held up by some minions of that bitch. I watch the blade go deep into her heart. Just like in the dreams. I watch my little sister die again and again. It was a bad dream. A dream I would never wake up from. I race over to her body and I just held her dead body in my arms. I had blood on my hands and on clothes. I watched as her spirit drift into the portal where that manic woman was held up in.

The portal close up like it was never there. Sailor Pluto talked some crap about duty. Bitch. A little girl just died and you talk about duty. That made me so mad. I remember just holding this little girl in my arms and crying. I haven't cried this much since my parents' death. I wonder now if that part of the great plan. Was my parents' death part of Sailor Pluto's plans or just fate? I wish I had the answers.

No, I don't wish for the answers.

So, I stood up and drop my transforming pen on the ground and I left. I didn't say anything as I walk pass my friends. The next several days were blurry. I remember packing my stuff and I remember my friends begging me to talk to them. Why bother? They don't remember. I left Tokyo and began to search out teachers. Some taught me about inner peace which I could never find. Some taught me how to fight which me forget the memories.

At least, it was for a little while. Some of my teachers taught me the healing arts. I tell one thing. I am not very good. I think I would kill someone by accident. Some of my teachers taught me the most mystic arts. I am no Rei but I am passable. Most of the time, I wandered. It was strange. I never truly belong until I meet the others. Now, I don't truly belong with them either. I am lost and don't want to found.

I think that is why I come back to Tokyo. I didn't come back to seek peace. I came to seek my final reckoning. I came to seek my death because I know that the gifts I have must be reborn. Reborn in another whom Pluto can control. Maybe that why I learn refocus myself. I am going to be fighting to the death.

I am going to make sure I am going to take that bitch with me.

The End of Part 7

When I Cried: Part 8

--- If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.—

Mark Twain

((Serena's POV))

I don't remember much what happened that day. Sometimes, I can reach out and remember a glimpse of a memory. It is strange. Whatever happened, it broke us apart. Lita left without coming back. In beginning of the day, all of us were eating in the park. Then some big out of this world baddies pick up a little girl. I don't remember much of the girl but I swear I remember her from somewhere. I just cannot remember. It is so annoying! The baddies disappear through a portal and Lita screamed something as she followed them. Of course, we weren't about to let them harm a little girl. We transform and follow Lita. It was chaos. Lita were fighting off some of the baddies. She was trying so hard to get to the little girl as we join the fight. The little girl was tied to altar. She was screaming for someone to help her. Another portal open above the little girl and then blank. I cannot remember anything else.

I want to scream! What happened! Why did Lita just walk away like that! I swear Lita told me too but I cannot seem to remember her words. . Something happened that day. None of us can remember but Lita and Sailor Pluto. Sailor Pluto isn't talking. But I remember Lita's face that she was so sad and lost. She packed her stuff and just left.

I know that everyone else miss her even if they aren't happy that she left. Rei was so angry that she left. In every fight that we barely won that she would blame Lita even with the aid of the outer sailor scouts. Ami is still trying to figure this memory block. Why cannot we remember? I think it is because Ami understands why Lita left. Mina would just be happy to see her best friend again. The outer sailors would…I don't know what they would do. I don't think they know Lita that well.

Now, she is standing at my doorstep a year later. Her eyes still seem so sad but hard. She tries to smile for me as I throw my arms around her to hug her. I miss her so much. We try to make small talk. She asks how everyone is and I ask the famous question. What happened that day?

She smiles at me and she told me what happened that day again. The minute Lita left, I cannot remember. I cannot remember her words as if she has said nothing that hour. Why! Why is this happening! I had enough! I am going to talk to Sailor Pluto.

Because I am sick and tired of not knowing. I want answers. I want to able to help Lita heal and return to us. I also want my best friend back.

The End of Part 8

When I Cried: Part 9

By: M14Mouse

---We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision.-

Gary Collins

((Sailor Pluto's POV))

I have failed. I am protector of Time but yet, I have failed. I thought I cover all outcomes but I didn't. The sailor scouts are not whole and shatter into the winds. They are able to win the fights and beat the evils that they face. After the fights, I can see their lost looks as they look for their missing member. I cannot repair the damage I have done. No matter how many times I look over the flows of time. Nothing can repair the damage. Now, I left with choices.

Grim choices.

I could remove the block and allow those memories to return of that day. It will bring my ruin but I will be free of the buried of this knowledge. My second choice would to be continues this dance of deception. They would never know why what happened and perhaps, they would forget in time expect Lita. Her soul is hardened but I do believe there is good in her. I have check up on her during her journey. She helps people in need and learns about herself. A worth journey but one she shouldn't have taken alone.

Now…I stay at a crossroads. I must choose.

"Sailor Pluto!"

Ah, I wonder when Serena shows up. Lita seems to have stopped by to talk to her old friends before moving on again. Serenity was always press about the lost memories. She would fit in the role of future Queen. But yet, she isn't queen at the moment. She demands for answers. She doesn't want a run around this time. Mostly, I think she wants her friend back.

Now, I stay at a crossroad.

May you forgive me in time?

I swing my staff and let the memories return. I could hear Serena screams as she feels the memories return to her. I could hear all of them scream but I feel strangely free.

Now, I wait at this crossroad.

Their actions will decide my fate and not me. For some reason, I am glad.

End of Part 9

When I Cried: Part 10

A/N: Here is it, folks. It is finish. Long time coming. Strangely, I feel happy and a little sad. Read and Review if you wish.

---What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from. ---

T.S. Eliot

((Lita's POV))

_Two years later_.

It is strange coming back here with my friends. The moment was stranger when they start to remember. I was there and talking to Mina when Mina start to scream. She clings to her head and her nails dig into her hair. I tried to help her in any way but I feel so helpless. She was in so much pain. I wonder what was going and who were attack my friends? At time, I was no longer a sailor scout. I wasn't about to stay by and let my friends be hurt. Once, Mina stop screams. She just looked up at me with this look on her face then she just hugs me and start to cry. For a long moment, I wonder what was going on. Mina starts to talk about how sorry she was about Cara. Well, the words I can make out from her mouth.

She remembers.

I don't know how to response. For the longest time, I was only one. Well, I am not counting Pluto in this mess. Now, the others remember. It just makes everything seem so real again. There would be questions and answers I am not sure how to give. I felt so lost. I held Mina until she stopped crying and I promise to come back tomorrow. Then I ran. I ran into the dark streets with no place in mind. I just ran until I feel my emotions become numb. I ran until my feet become sore. I ran until I feel my tears become dry. Then I stopped. I stopped at that spot. The spot where one life ended and my life changed. It was the spot that Cara was kidnapped. I fell to my knees and cried again. I swore I would never cry again. Now look at me. I am crying.

"It is done."

I look up at the familiar voice of Pluto. I want to yell and scream. I want to rage and hit her with something. I just didn't have the energy for that the moment.

"I know."

So, what does that leave me? Where does that leave everything? I am going to tell you.

It left a year lost and experiences gain. I didn't return to ranks of sailor scouts for several months. I and my friends had some talking and some yelling before we made any headway back onto our friendship from before. The outer sailors were an interesting group. Now, that I have got really good chance to know them as friends. I would train with them. They seemed to be a bit of surprise by my fighting style and a little magic. For a long time, I lean on my gifts as a scout. I would do that no more. It has cost me too much. I would fight along my friends but not a scout. Believe me, Serenity try to get me join again and again. It took a major battle for me to that.

Where does that leave Pluto and me?

We never truly interact unless it is required. The trust and respect is gone. I am no longer the same person. I seen end of one life and began another. Now, I must move on and travel down this new path.

Whatever, it will take me. I will follow. When I cry again, I will think of Cara and my parents.

For now, I have no more tears.

Only the future remains.

The End


End file.
